A few years ago, the Carpenter Ants participated in what was known as "Kanawhapalooza," The Musicians Union's answer to Lollapalooza. The events were held all around the Charleston area, and the intent of the thing was to showcase much of the talented musicians in this area.
Anyway, the venue that we played was located in the Elk River Holiday Inn, at their nightspot called The Dockside.
During a break at our performance, I went to the bar for some water, and a woman came up to me and said "did anyone ever tell you that you look like Al Roker,(of NBC, and Food Network fame)." Well, I hit the roof, I was very insulted, and I was very verbal about it. I realized then as I do now, that the real issue of what upset me so is that I'm struggling with my weight, and have been for years.
Say what you want, but truly it's my own fault that I've gained this much weight, somehow I feel like I've been cheated because I can't live like all the thinner people, so I consume too much food, and don't exercise at all, a deadly combination.
The comments of that woman just opened a bad can of worms for me. I know that her intentions were not meant to insult, but to compliment me on my talent.
The reason that I'm writing about this now is twofold: I just learned of the death of Soul singer Wilson Picket, and I remembered that I wrote a post where I made a pretty disparaging remark about Mustang Sally, and about Freebird. I said in fact: 'don'tcha just wish those songs would go away, or at least wish that someone would open a nightclub especially for people who love those songs... it could be called Mustang Sally's Freebird Utopia.' Really, how stupid of me, and in lieu of the fact that a year or so before that when the Carpenter Ants released our CD "Picnic With The Lord,"one of the reviews that circulated compared my vocal style to Wilson Pickett, and I was truly thrilled and honored by the comparison.
I guess my feelings now are ambivalent because I want to be accepted on my own terms as a musician and singer, but I need to also realize that for people in general, they need to make comparisons.We all do it, in every walk of life, and it's not a bad thing, at least not from this perspective.
My struggle with my weight continues (although I am earnestly trying to do something about it...), and looking forward, I have great plans for myself this year. One of which is to open mouth and insert foot.
Of course I have absolutely no idea who that woman that I argued with is, but if you're reading this please know that I am genuinely sorry for becoming angry, and I feel even lower now that "Wicked Wilson Picket" is gone from our lives. His music, like so many others has affected me positively. I stand in the shadows of music, but I stand on the shoulders of these pioneers, and I'm grateful for the what they have taught me about being an entertainer...sometimes, I have to learn my lessons the hard way !
Wilson Pickett, 1941-2006...goodnight brother
Support Live music today tomorrow and always...and learn to take every comment as a compliment, or as constructive criticism.If people say things that you don't like, learn to channel it into something positive.
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10 comments:
Indeed Wilson Pickett is a great loss. Its often a sore point for an artist to have their work described as being like 'the next so and so', unless they were a particuarly whacky innovator, and even then.. I know in music terms its pretty nasty... although it seems that sax players at certain uni's in america seem to all want to sound like bird or wayne shorter...
People always seem to have a need to liken anything new, that they do not know, to something older, that they do know, even if the previous one is striving to be individual, or bears only a vague cosmetic similarity..
such is life? Being judged is all about comparison...
I don't think that comparison is really all that bad, It's more like, for the average person, they don't necessarily understand the process of become an artist per'se, they are more likely to see the end result,and in many cases their comparisons are done in a heartfelt way meant to encourage.They appreciate what you're doing to get where you want to go, or are trying to go.
In my case, I really feel as though I should have been gracious about the woman's comment, and just rolled with the punches despite feeling as though I were only being compared to another fat Black guy...I didn't even give her a chance to finish what she was trying to say.No matter how you see it, it was simply rude of me...and it certainly didn't win me a fan.
Welcome to the "foot in mouth club". I've been a member for years....did you already get your membership card in the mail????
HAHA
Don't feel so bad, Charlie....I've inserted my foot into my mouth many times...
As for the "comparisons"....Yes, us "normal people" (meaning not musicians) don't know how else to "explain" someone's sound or music except for comparing or giving examples. I just don't know how they can categorize the Ants music into a genre though, needless to say a band or artist. The Ants are a band all their own.....and in this case, "unique" is said in a truthful and positive way. ;)
Hi Jen...but that's what makes what we (the Ants) do so hard because, we're basically a soul band, but the music that we sort of gear ourselves toward is gospel, and it's kind of a hard pill for some folks.
I really try to be cavalier about the comparison thing, because I can't and don't expect everyone to know about music and musicians, but at the same time people can make it just a little difficult by expecting a band that are not the originators of a song to be just like the original.
One of the things that is also sort of disturbing is that people are occasionally not open minded about what a band does, so when you've been asked to play Freebird for the hundredth time it's a bit frustrating.
Once at a club in Charleston this man hassled me trying to get Michael Lipton to be Robert Cray (a great blues guitarist, if you're not certain who I mean), anyway, I finally had to tell the guy that why in the hell would I want Robert Cray, when I have just as equally great (in my opinion) guitar playing of Mike...it was absolutely annoying.
hi, we had a cover group around here. they played a lot of stevie ray vaughan. the lead singer/guitar
player was amazing, but he killed himself last year and i often wondered if the fact that as talented as he was he was stuck(through choice or chance)pretending to be someone else.
i know a guy who sounds so much like elvis( when you close your eyes so as not to see him and envision elvis there) that it's spooky, but neither he nor the local people that beg him to sing at kareoke liked it when i said that i thought he was so good but since he didn't resemble elvis all that much that maybe if he developed his own style, sang other songs(which he can and is quite good at, but hardly ever will)
that he might make a good living at it.
me, i have said more than once as a poet that i'd rather be a first rate me, than a second or third rate famous poet( take your pick) tho poets like musicians are often compared to a famous person's style. i suppose it's a point of reference.
oh charlie, you made me laugh with the "another fat black guy" comment.
you are too cute!!! but i understand.
p.s. if i ever write something that someone might take offence at i hope that i'm told what and why and that people cut me some slack as well because i too have said things or put things the wrong way, not meaning them the way they sounded. it's a human thing. ; )
I guess what "bugs" me about the comparison thing is that to a point it's fine, but at some point doesn't everyone want to be seen on their own merit? It's like having an older sibling as I did, when you go to school alot of times teachers expect you to be that sibling (good or bad) instead of just taking you as YOU.
I said earlier that comparisons aren't really that bad,it's the intent behind them that I at times question...I'm gonna look for a post that I wrote some time ago that relates and I'll send it to you.As far as the fat Black guy thing, all I can say is oh well!!
fat is in the eye of the beholder! i just say there's more to love!!!!
p.s. i was the older sibling. my sister and i are almost 6 years apart, look nothing like each other and have very different personalities and outlooks on life. there are still some people that have known us for quite some time that think we are lying when i say we are sisters.
Dear Charlie,
Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. It means a lot to know that there is someone out there that cares.
By the way, I thought your piece on Wilson Picket was incredibly honest, thoughtful, and a pleasure to read.
all good things,
Emma Jo
I sent my driver's license into the bank one afternoon and the teller came over the speaker squealing, "Did anyone ever tell you you look just like Rosie O'Donnell?" I'd lost weight since the photo, but I squawked back, "Because I'm fat and white? No, no one has. Thanks. Have a nice day."
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