Four Dead in Ohio (as a metaphor)

Friday night came finally and with it a long awaited and needed road trip...
We really shine bright when we play on the road, there is something magical about being front of people that you don't know terribly well. If it's done right you lose your inhibitions, you forget that you have been at work all day, or all week for that matter, shake off the cobwebs, chill out with your favorite whatever and let the tones wash over you like a great shower or relaxing soothing bath, or you can simply dance it all away.
From those choices we started the night by trudging up some serious stairs to Olivers in Marietta Ohio, bad news for carrying equipment, but great for my Diabetes (any exercise helps keep that blood glucose under control).
Now we get under way and first up is a gentleman that I'm getting to know alot about through his music, Todd Burge. Todd has an amazing sense of humor and sharing the night with him makes for a wonderful way to start the weekend. He is to my way of thinking the Bud Abbott to our Lou Costello, or better yet Ed McMahon to Johnny Carson.
With Todd was a young man named Bill Matheny, who I really enjoyed and they set us up perfectly.
By the time we were up folks in the audience exploded out of the starting gate. We hit them like the guns of Navarone and sank all their troubles if only for one night.
All was well in musicland...that is until the end of the night ( you knew this was coming...)
I know how difficult it must be for club owners to deal with people like this band because they made your establishment some much needed cash, but then reality sets in and you look at the rent, you look at your employees, you look at a window to jump out of, but you have to remember this line from the great movie "Field Of Dreams,"" If you build it they will come."Now don't get me wrong I'm all for helping out people but let's be REAL here. I got a house payment, I've got a wife that I will care for, I have a child in college, oh yeah, and I gotta eat too. So while you're dealing with realities of your wonderful life (remember you own the club) Work with me if you expect to keep that happy existence. Instead of trying to make me pay top dollar for a burger that I could have gotten at the fast food joint, feed me a meal that's worth me coming back. By the way, x amount of dollars between 6 people still adds up to less than your intake for the night, and let me also add gas to my tab.
You should have had a cigarette after sex that great...
None the less we came, we saw, we kicked butt in the heartland, and I guess there's some merit in that.
To Todd, I'm really sorry that your wonderful music isn't heard by more folks who have lots of money, you're far better than you get credit for, but let's continue to make that great music together.

Standing On Their Shoulders

While I'm thinking about this, I want to say something about mentoring... and yes this relates to my music.
Two years ago on a Sunday, I was at work at my library and in walks a young lady who probably changed my mind about the aspect of being a mentor to someone.
For a long time in my life I've foolishly felt that being a mentor was too "unhip" ( I can't believe that I'm saying this publicly...) .
I felt this way because so many people who are in this situation get exploited for the wrong reasons (on both sides of the coin) But as I've said, now and again things happen in ones life that make you truly rethink some things. For me that something was in the form of Lee Dora Wokpara ( remember that name if you're into truly GREAT singers.)
At the time Lee Dora was a high school student at St Albans High School ( which also made me think: short attention span...ohhhh was I ever wrong!) , she happened into the library to do an assignment about the career that you would like, so my typical question was, so what do you want to do when you get older? ,To which she said that she was a singer ( read that carefully, she IS, a singer) Okay, says ever suspicious me sing something. When she opened her mouth, I'm certain that I looked like I had seen Allah(GOD) in person. Her voice literally knocked me off of my feet and my mouth probably hit the floor.
Needless to say her fearlessness got my attention followed by those wonderful sounds I was hearing emanating from this young voice. The command, the control, the polish. Oh my God, I'll never be able to tell you how it made me feel. Right away I saw STAR potential.
As I've gotten to know Lee Dora, I've come to know a beautiful young lady inside and out, who is madly in love with and respectful of her Mother, who has a strong sense of herself ( for the right reasons), who has the courage of her conviction, and someone who is just a good soul.PERIOD.
To best of my ability I am going to do all I can to help her get a career in this business.Why, because if anyone in the world deserves to be a famous singer it's Lee Dora Wokpara ( again, remember that name), her voice is that good.
I once heard a line about people helping people, it went something like: "we are all standing on the shoulders of our ancestors, as we pick up the next person , we can see that much farther toward the future." Well, to Ms Lee Dora, my shoulders are here, just climb up the ladder to the top, the sky is yours, as well as the future.
By the way, I'm still struggling with the whole notion of mentoring, but every time I see how well that she's doing and and how hard she's trying, I'm moving toward her, to help guide her because I don't want the world to miss out on this wonderful humble young lady.

To Lee Dora, if you ever get around to reading this, I want you to know that I think that you are great, and I am grateful to know you and your family. You too are one of the reasons that I get out bed each day and struggle with life to try to make it.
To have more human beings like you makes the rise easy.

The Melody That's Closest to Me...Vickie

Many years ago when I was in the search for a significant other ( what's the deal with that term!!!) I went through changes like you would not believe. Now I'm not trying to tell you that I'm exactly the catch of the day, nor am I saying that I was or am an angel, but the dating scene was Hell. That is, until I met Vickie, then slowly but surely my life has evolved.
To say that I'm the luckiest person in the world is only giving you a portion of the picture. Vickie is my reason for getting up everyday and striving even a little bit toward my goals in music...or for that matter, anything.
Now I don't want you to think that I had or have no goals in life, but for me to able to share my life with someone so worthwhile is ultimately fulfilling.
She is inspiring to me in so many ways. I know some of you may be going "for crying out loud, gimme a break." That might be true of some relationships, but I really do feel this way. My wife has afforded me a life of little stress; she's not the kind of person who will watch you do all the work and just reap the benefits, she'll work as hard or harder to see us through our goals.
Formerly she was Radiologic Technologist (that's an X-ray tech for the unhip) and a damn fine one at that (just ask some of her co-workers).
As I have strived to become a better musician, I've studied rhythm and I've studied harmony, but the melody that has been closest to me is my Vickie, in the key of love.

A Family In Music...

Today, I'm happy to report that the slump I felt has mostly disappeared. Last night was pretty fun save a few glitches...
The music of my night happened after I got home (3 am , ahhhhhh!!!).
Playing at the club was alot of fun but when I got home I checked my e-mail messages. I received an e-mail from my cousin Patricia in Brooklyn ( I'm gonna do a blog about my wife and family soon, it will help you understand my music), she told me that my long lost step-Sister has been trying to reach me and that I needed to contact her asap... Bowl me over with a feather!
Calling my Sister Jill (Janus Adams) this morning was like a step back in time, mainly because we lost so many years. We did manage to condense a great many years into our short time on the phone.(I know that I'm rambling but hang in there with me for a moment!).
Jill informed me that she is still playing the piano ( she was a prodigy), and that she has written some books and done a great many things, and we generally got caught up. The main reason that she was trying to reach me is that she had something for me that belonged to my late Father. It was his off- duty New York City Fire Department hat; something that I coveted deeply while my Dad was alive. Being a Fireman meant everything to him; as much as being a musician has meant to me.
It's a very lucky person who finds his or her true calling in life.For me that calling has been my wife, music, family and my extended family of friends...all of them are the essence of my music.
In the journal this time there is nothing really to report ( at least not in terms of ups or downs), but I needed to share this with you because if you're like me all of these things have influence in your music which in turn can be the up or the down...just like the best melody.

It Hit Me When I Wasn't Looking

More often than not those of us in the arts are searching for that serendipidous holy grail, or better yet that cloud with the elusive silver lining.
I think I started on that trail when I was about 7 years old, for it was during Christmas of that same year that I spied my Father playing a guitar, and to my utter amazement he was really good.
I remember asking him how come he didn't play in front of people, like he and my Mom were forever parading my sister Caroleigh and I around in front of seemingly endless regimes of their friends/ co-workers/ bosses and the like, and having us play our instruments, or sing. My Dad's response was that 1. it wasn't his calling like he felt that it was my sister's and mine, and 2. he wanted me to not ever be afraid of people,or of their scrutiny especially since I was Colored.
My Dad had also dreamed of playing music but like many others of our race the footlights were only for him to clean after other lighter or white people performed ( those were not his words, but they may as well have been).
I'm writing this today before our post Mountain Stage show tonight because most of this week seemed so bad to me, and I started foolishly feeling sorry for myself. I get real stupid sometimes with my self doubt and it clouds my belief system which is really strong.
Just because the week had flaws my talent didn't change. The band did the best they could on Wednesday, we just had a not-so good performance and that happens...ACCEPT IT and MOVE ON.
Anyway, here is todays strange correlation: my Dad and Michael Lipton are born on the same day, and I had exactly the same reaction the first time I ever heard Michael play the guitar before I became a member of this band...utter amazement!!!
What brought me to this revelation? Well, last night I watched for the umpteenth time the movie "A League of Their Own," and there is a scene in which Jim Dugan (played brilliantly by Tom Hanks) is explaining to Dotti Hinson (aka Geena Davis) who wanted to quit the baseball team, that "the hard is what makes it great," a line that I have heard with much similarity from both my Dad and from Michael.
What Tom's character was relating was that if you give up playing the game just because it's difficult then you'll really be missing out on what makes the game great...which goes double for the music business.
Anything that you really want takes patience and work.It takes preparation and opportunity. What I'm beginning to realize is that Mike makes us prepare by making us think...all the time. Most of the time I'm up for the challenge, but sometimes I let my defenses down and I always get blindsided
Sometimes I just need to be jump started with allegory to keep me in the right frame of mind.
The elusive silver lining that I seek is right in my path; it's on my left and my right, behind me and in front of me: it's Michael Lipton, Ted Harrison, Jupiter Little and whatever audience is standing , dancing or sitting grooving right in front of me.
For all of us striving in whatever walk of life but especially the arts, I sincerely hope that we find that shiny penny on the ground that we weren't looking for, but I also hope that we're sure that what we want is not what we've got.

Carpenter Ants 0- Life 22 (Wednesday)

I have this fantasy...I'm playing with the Yankees against Boston (our arch-enemy) and we're beating them mercilessly and the Bronx is just going wild with excitement. I usually produce this fantasy whenever I need to pull out a great performance ( say what you want, but it's better than drugs!)
How in the hell does this relate to music you ask? Well, for me at least I feel about this band the way I feel about the Yankees; even when we're in a slump Michael,Ted and Jupie never cease to excite me, and spur me. For me, listening to Mike do a solo is like watching Derek Jeter create a double play, when Ted responds to him it's like Jorge Posada in the mix of that play defending home plate, and Jupie keeps the momentum going ala Gary Sheffield.
But alas, every now and again the Yanks hit the skids completely ( need I remind you of the '04 season against Boston, or even worse may I remind you of the game against Cleveland!!!). Wednesday was that type of day; from start to finish it was long and arduous. At work the day ground on like a game without a rally of any kind, topped off by my co-worker Pam falling and getting hurt. That night at the club there were a scarce amount of people and we couldn't seem to bring out any emotion in them. Mistakes were everywhere, all four of us made them, the vibe of the audience which had now swelled to 15 ( a sellout...) was blase' at best.
I know that a big part of that day for me at least had to do with my friend Paul losing his job, and my wife Vickie not feeling well, and my co-worker Peggy not being at work due to hurting her leg. My boss Toni generally sets the tone for my day and starts my day off positively ( I simply adore this woman as well as adoring the rest of my co-workers...all the equivalent of Joe Torre) so by the time I'm somewhere in my music environ I'm ready to rock. Even if the crowd isn't quite with me, having been in the positive vibe of my co-workers all day and then being in the positive vibe of the band at rehearsal... WATCH OUT WORLD !!!
That night at the club I tried and I tried but I just couldn't find that spark in me to ignite a fire under the band.
Now I'm smart enough to know that everybody has days like this, but since this is ever optomistic, obssessing ME, let's just hope that there won't be too many of these kind of days. I can't handle the Yankees losing to Boston too much.

About Last Night

Last night provided some great moments on the Charleston music scene...In town were The Eagles ( at one venue), Mountain Stage had a host of fiddlers for their mostly Celtic program, and snow was everywhere and then some.
After all the respective shows, people made their way to the club for nightcaps of music hoping to maybe get a glimpse of someone famous ( I was actually told that by a woman in the club).
Truthfully, I wanted to tell her that I thought she was clueless because right in her own backyard you have some of the finest players anywhere.
One of the songs that we do is entitled "You Don't Miss Your Water ('til the well runs dry),"it's one of those I played, you stayed, til you had enough, and left me dazed songs ( you know the type). As I listened to this woman go on and on about the Eagles, I thought what would she do if there were no music scene in this town. Now don't get me wrong even the MOST critical of musicians has to respect major bands, it takes alot to do what we do...entertain/schmooze/BS/hope you'll buy our CD/manuever through the mire of other people with the same dream, but even great legends once in a while can be overtaken, every now and then there are other folks who are just as talented, but you won't know that unless you venture out of your narrow realm...Freebird ain't for everyone.Sometimes I wanna take Mustang Sally and drive her butt right outta town to sweet home Alabama, or wherever the heck she lives.
It's really disheartening to feel as though you won't even be given a chance if you don't play it like the record...people there's more to life than Mickey D's and Burger King. Occasionally eat a burger from somewhere else; it'll still be hamburger and you might find out that it's actually good at other places.
One of the greatest joys that I've experienced with this band is that we geniunely love to play music together, we don't worry that there are times that the band outnumbers the audience...if there are 2 or 2,000 we show up and play like it's the last concert we'll ever do.People go home after a night of the Carpenter Ants and know they have been thoroughly entertained from their souls down to their soles.
A few years ago my wife told me a story the next day after a show that we did in which Blues legend Luther Allison was in the audience.Vickie told Luther to " jump up on stage and have some fun with the guys," and he told her "those guys are tooooo F...ing good for me to fool with, I'm stayin' right here in my seat and enjoy."This past year the Reverend Jesse Jackson asked me "where in the heck Mike learned to play guitar like that."
About last night, all I can say is America we're waiting for you, catch up.We're humble, we're decent, but we need you to see it, just give us the chance you won't be disappointed.To paraphrase an old deodorant commercial, listen to The Carpenter Ants with your right ear...it'll convince your left.

Round 2.. About.the band, and vicinity.

I failed yesterday to tell you about some of the people that you'll be reading about in my journal. Also,when I become a little more proficient and confident doing this I'll add some photos so you can see who the heck you're dealing with (smile...)
To start off let me tell you about my bandmates (and my best friends) The Carpenter Ants
1.Michael Lipton is our guitarist and de-facto leader. Formerly he was the editor of a monthly entertainment mag called "Grafitti." He presently is in the process of creating the "West Virginia Music Hall of Fame."He also is the house guitarist for our internationally syndicated radio program "Public Radio's Mountain Stage." This show is hosted by Larry Groce of "Junk Food Junkie" fame...(Larry also sits in with us occasionally).
Michael (he'll dispute this) in my opinion is a true genius, I just plain and simply admire him, it seems that whatever he puts his mind on bears fruit.He's gotten us into situations musically that starting out I questioned but in the end realized would be absolutely wonderful.For Mike the phrase should always read "it's not a job, it's an adventure."
2. Ted Harrison, is our bassist, and truly one of the nicest people I've ever known, in every sense of the word.He'd give you the shirt off his back, if you really needed it.
Ted works regularly for the phone company, it drives him crazy but he's hung in there for more than 20 years.He ain't a bad bass player either ( can't wait for you to hear him).
3.James "Jupiter" Little our drummer and my co lead vocalist.If the nickname hasn't helped figure him out...yes, he is our wild child.Jupie just loves to have fun, and he is the quickest wit I've ever encountered.
Michael wrote songs about each of us ( me,Ted and Jupie) for our upcoming (when, I don't know...) 3rd CD.On Jupie's song he noted that "even his mama couldn't keep him down."
Anyway, that's a short bio on the band, after this when you read about folks you'll get some background at that point...now it's time to move forward a bit.
Tonight we're playing at the,Empty Glass here in Charleston. It's our "Mountain Stage Jam,"we host a post MS show at the club and oftentimes people who have been on the show come and hang out and play in a somewhat intimate setting.We've had a great many artists join in the fun; people like Taj Mahal, Bruce Hornsby, Bill Kirchen and Kevin Coyne to name a few.
I said yesterday that the right person hasn't heard us, the person who'd add us to their career, and get ours moving forward in this business. We have worked with an army of well known people in the music industry but for some reason we haven't been discovered and that just baffles me a little. I know about musicians and their worldclass egos but I had always hoped that that was more myth than truth but I'm beginning to wonder.
Well, log in tomorrow and I'll tell you about tonights show.
Remember please that this is a journal for those who are trying to make it in music. Maybe by sharing our stories we can figure this out together. Peace be upon you.

Where We Gonna Go From Here?

All of my life I have dreamed and dreamed of playing music. At times it has even gotten me into trouble at work and in my relationships.
You see I am one of those people who believe that in order to get somewhere with your dreams you have to work constantly at it; therefore things that need to be taken care of don't always fall into that category; like lawns and homes and family etc. so I find myself at a strange crossroad.
I'm the lead vocalist and saxophonist in a band in West Virginia of all places and for the first time in my life I really feel like we can achieve our goals and become players in this game of the music business.
There's just one problem...that right person hasn't heard us. Now who that right person happens to be I have no earthly idea but I know that they're out there somewhere.
Over the past year we had the great opportunity to be a part of what I thought would be history
(you can define that any way that you'd like...) we were involved in the failed campaign of Senator John Kerry.We met and went on the road with the Reverend Jesse Jackson, UMW President Cecil Roberts, played in front of audiences of thousands which included the likes of Senator Ted Kennedy and the now Governor of West Virginia Joe Manchin, but here we are in little old Charleston WV still waiting for that real break, running out of money, running low on patience, and just maybe running out of time.
About 2 years ago we recorded our 3rd CD, it was produced by industry veteran Don Dixon who really believes in us, and not too terribly long after that we got signed to a fledgling record label Gaff Music ( maybe I should really say "fudging") , and here we are almost 3 years later with a CD in the can all dressed up and nowhere to go.
I'd like to think that of all the the folks that have heard us in the 12 years I've been in the band ( the band has been together for almost 20 years...amazing ain't it?) someone truly liked what they've heard. In 1995 and '96 we went to Russia to play and just prior to the day we left to go the second time our first CD was released under our own label. Well, we made enough money from sales of the CD the first night to pay back the person who loaned the money to make the CD...a true fan indeed. There are hundreds of our CD floating around in this country but we're still here waiting...and waiting.
I also guess that I'm just frustrated because we're sacrificing so much to try to make this thing happen and it's seems to be slowly sliding away.
We're not giving up but we're also not getting any younger.
When I was in college I thought that I was fairly popular but since I've graduated I've found out just how popular...I can't rub 2 sticks together to get my fellow alumni to come and hear us but I was certainly there for many of them and so was my family, just ask Denzel Washington if he remembers my father James Tuitt from the Boys Club or Judge Judy if she remembers my mother Carmen L. Tuitt from the Bronx District Attorney's office, or the IRS if they remember Caroleigh C.Tuitt-Caster (my sister) who was one of the authors of the Disclosure Law. My family are all deceased and trying to help me from Heaven.
I know that I sound really angry but truly I'm not, I'm sure that one may read this and think that I'm cynical, but I'm not; what I am is very hopeful with just a tinge of disappointment to keep me spicy enough to keep trying.To keep the hammer in my hand to try and crack the rock in my path, but on the way I just want to know where are gonna go from here?