My Fear

I told you in last post that I needed to get some rest after a pretty gruelling weekend, but it seems like something else is going on and I have to admit to you that I'm actually frightened.
In 1985 my older Sister Caroleigh ( that's pronounced Carol-lay)was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. At first it was moving subtly, she was able to pretty much maintain her lifestyle which included Fencing and swimming.She was an attorney, and in that capacity she stayed busy as well.
Our Father passed away in 1991, and in a matter of 2 weeks Caroleigh's body shut down to the point that my Mother had to put her in a Nursing Home where she remained until her demise in 2000.
I can't say with certainty but my body is going through a very strange metamorphisis. My left arm is unable to open all the way and it's bent almost in atrophy. I'm in a great deal of pain, as well as, I have very little voice. I sound somewhat like Don Corleone from the Godfather.
For truly the first time in my life I AM SCARED beyond belief. I'm not afraid to die, but I don't want to.
I'm very sorry for sharing this with you, but I need prayers from everywhere.
Also, I'm writing this because I don't want to leave without telling all of you that I sincerely love you and that I'm grateful for your friendship; even for those who I have yet to meet like my friends in London, and my newest friend in Pittsburgh.
No matter what the outcome, my life is joyous; and a great portion of that joy has been being able to share my story and my journey. For some who read it, it might not mean much, but it is me, being me, and I'm proud of it.